Women say it to feel better about lousy boyfriends, tragic breakups, and guys who never reply to their text messages: “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Unfortunately, some women recite that mantra even when they’re in a great relationship. “Traditionally, women have felt that guys were the ones not willing to commit. But now, more and more women are trying to keep their options open. They are hedging their bets,” says relationship therapist Megan Fleming, Ph.D., clinical instructor of psychology at Weill Cornell Medical College of Cornell University.

Is your girlfriend (or, wait, is she not up for making it official yet?) stringing you along? It’s hard to tell. “In the initial phases of love and lust, it’s easy to get blinded by surging hormones and ignore critical signs that indicate—well, she’s just not into you,” says Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D., a Manhattan-based marriage therapist.

So, to make things easier, check out these top nine signs that she’s anything but all in.