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Blurred Lines: What Her Mixed Signals Mean

Eight common misunderstandings, and what they really mean.

by Hilary Sheinbaum
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Blurred Lines: What Her Mixed Signals Mean
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Blurred Lines: What Her Mixed Signals Mean

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1 OF 9

1 of 9

Blurred lines opener

Have you ever been sure you knew exactly what she wanted, only to get the complete opposite reaction from her upon doing what is was you thought she wanted? Basically, all her signs pointed one way, when she really wanted you to go in a completely different direction. To help you avoid getting lost in the middle of nowhere repeatedly, we spoke to experts about what some of her confusing signals really mean. It’s no Google Maps, but these helpful hints should help you get your bearings in the land of women.
15 First Dates Under $50 >>>

2 of 9

Blurred lines provocative dress

The Sign: She’s dressing provocatively

What You Think It Means: She wants you to rip her clothes off.
What It Actually Means: She wants you to think about it.
In fact, she might not have any intentions of getting into bed with you anytime soon; it might not even be on her radar. “Dressing sexy doesn’t mean she wants you to cat call her or try to undress her,” says Emily Morse, Ph.D., co-founder of EmilyandTony.com, and host of Bravo’s TV show, Miss Advised. She just wants you to notice her. “The good news is she took the time and effort to get sexy for you, which likely means she’s interested in you,” says Lisa Hayes, relationship coach and author of Escape from Relationship Hell.
Hollywood's Hottest Butts>>>

3 of 9

Blurred lines meet her parents

The Sign: She wants you to meet her family

What You Think It Means: She wants you to propose.
What It Actually Means: She’s considering it.
Calm down, no one is expecting you to get down on one knee in front of the whole fam. “Women want to include the man they’re dating in their life; merging the family and boyfriend is really not that monumental for them,” says Hayes. “If she’s asked you to meet her family, that’s more of a sign that she’s considering keeping you around. But first, she has to gauge how you fit in to the other parts of her life.”

This also shows that she doesn’t find you embarrassing, and she has no skeletons in her closet. If you’ve been dating for a while and she hasn’t popped the “want to meet my family?” question, she might have something to hide—and it could be you.

4 of 9

Blurred lines cooks you romantic dinner

The Sign: She’s cooking a romantic dinner at her place

What You Think It Means: You’re getting laid tonight
What It Actually Means: You’re getting pampered tonight.
Don’t make the clichéd mistake of jumping into her bed while she’s prepping dinner. That always ends up awkward. Cooking a meal is a lot of work, why would she bother with it if all she wanted was to get in bed with you? Which, let’s be honest, would require no effort. This is her way of showing you that you mean more to her than just sex. “Every woman has heard it a thousand times: The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Hayes says. “If she’s cooking for you, she wants to take care of you.”
Your Go-To Date-Night Menu for the Gluten Free Vegan Girl>>>

5 of 9

Blurred lines leaves stuff at your place

The Sign: She’s leaving her things at your place

What You Think It Means: She wants to move in.
What It Actually Means: She cares about her appearance.
Is there room in her purse for a change of clothes, toiletries, a wallet, work stuff, and a cell phone? Likely no. “What it means is your $3 shampoo is wrecking her hair and she wants to brush her teeth with her own toothbrush,” says Hayes. “For guys, the overnighter is relatively simple. For a woman, not so much. Her personal bathroom is more like a staging station. If she’s running to work or out for the day from your place, without her things, it leaves her feeling a little homeless. This has nothing to do with taking the relationship further. When she starts moving her furniture in, then you can start worrying.”

6 of 9

Blurred lines sleep after certain number of dates

The Sign: She says she doesn’t sleep with guys until after a certain number of dates

What You Think It Means: If you hang out with her that many times, you’re in!
What It Actually Means: If you’ve gone on that many dates, you’re in.
Read the fine print. “Meeting up for a quick coffee doesn’t count as a date,” says Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets.

7 of 9

Blurred lines condoms

The Sign: She has condoms handy

What You Think It Means: She’s easy, and she hooks up a lot.
What It Actually Means: She’s responsible.
Contrary to what you think, Melissa White, CEO and founder of luckybloke.com, says “this just means that she takes her health and safety seriously,” something you should be grateful for.
Decoding Her Body Language>>>

8 of 9

Blurred lines need space

The Sign: She says, “I need space”

What You Think It Means: “Give me some time alone, and then resume as we normally would.”
What It Actually Means: She’s over you.
“For women, ‘I need space’ often means ‘I am breaking up with you,'” says Jennifer Kelman, relationship and dating expert for pearl.com. “They just may not be able to communicate it effectively.”

9 of 9

Blurred lines im fine

The Sign: She tells you she’s fine

What You Think It Means: She’s fine
What It Actually Means: She is most definitely not fine. In fact, she’s about to punch a wall.
“Here’s a basic rule of thumb: If the woman in your life uses the word ‘fine’ to describe how they feel about something, they almost always feel the opposite,” says Eric Resnick, dating coach and owner of profilehelper.com. “It’s one thing if she tells you that she’s good, or even OK, but ‘fine’ always seems to have something hiding behind it. Guys take their partner’s words at face value, causing them to miss the chance of fixing problems before they become relationship crises.”

Back to intro

Have you ever been sure you knew exactly what she wanted, only to get the complete opposite reaction from her upon doing what is was you thought she wanted? Basically, all her signs pointed one way, when she really wanted you to go in a completely different direction. To help you avoid getting lost in the middle of nowhere repeatedly, we spoke to experts about what some of her confusing signals really mean. It’s no Google Maps, but these helpful hints should help you get your bearings in the land of women.

15 First Dates Under $50 >>>

The Sign: She's dressing provocatively

What You Think It Means: She wants you to rip her clothes off.

What It Actually Means: She wants you to think about it.

In fact, she might not have any intentions of getting into bed with you anytime soon; it might not even be on her radar. “Dressing sexy doesn’t mean she wants you to cat call her or try to undress her,” says Emily Morse, Ph.D., co-founder of EmilyandTony.com, and host of Bravo’s TV show, Miss Advised. She just wants you to notice her. “The good news is she took the time and effort to get sexy for you, which likely means she’s interested in you,” says Lisa Hayes, relationship coach and author of Escape from Relationship Hell.

Hollywood's Hottest Butts>>>

The Sign: She wants you to meet her family

What You Think It Means: She wants you to propose.

What It Actually Means: She’s considering it.

Calm down, no one is expecting you to get down on one knee in front of the whole fam. “Women want to include the man they’re dating in their life; merging the family and boyfriend is really not that monumental for them,” says Hayes. “If she’s asked you to meet her family, that’s more of a sign that she’s considering keeping you around. But first, she has to gauge how you fit in to the other parts of her life.”

This also shows that she doesn’t find you embarrassing, and she has no skeletons in her closet. If you’ve been dating for a while and she hasn’t popped the “want to meet my family?” question, she might have something to hide—and it could be you.

The Sign: She's cooking a romantic dinner at her place

What You Think It Means: You’re getting laid tonight

What It Actually Means: You’re getting pampered tonight.

Don’t make the clichéd mistake of jumping into her bed while she’s prepping dinner. That always ends up awkward. Cooking a meal is a lot of work, why would she bother with it if all she wanted was to get in bed with you? Which, let’s be honest, would require no effort. This is her way of showing you that you mean more to her than just sex. “Every woman has heard it a thousand times: The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” Hayes says. “If she’s cooking for you, she wants to take care of you.”

Your Go-To Date-Night Menu for the Gluten Free Vegan Girl>>>

The Sign: She's leaving her things at your place

What You Think It Means: She wants to move in.

What It Actually Means: She cares about her appearance.

Is there room in her purse for a change of clothes, toiletries, a wallet, work stuff, and a cell phone? Likely no. “What it means is your $3 shampoo is wrecking her hair and she wants to brush her teeth with her own toothbrush,” says Hayes. “For guys, the overnighter is relatively simple. For a woman, not so much. Her personal bathroom is more like a staging station. If she’s running to work or out for the day from your place, without her things, it leaves her feeling a little homeless. This has nothing to do with taking the relationship further. When she starts moving her furniture in, then you can start worrying.”

The Sign: She says she doesn’t sleep with guys until after a certain number of dates

What You Think It Means: If you hang out with her that many times, you’re in!

What It Actually Means: If you’ve gone on that many dates, you’re in.

Read the fine print. “Meeting up for a quick coffee doesn’t count as a date,” says Carole Lieberman, M.D., psychiatrist and author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets.

The Sign: She has condoms handy

What You Think It Means: She’s easy, and she hooks up a lot.

What It Actually Means: She’s responsible.

Contrary to what you think, Melissa White, CEO and founder of luckybloke.com, says “this just means that she takes her health and safety seriously,” something you should be grateful for.

Decoding Her Body Language>>>

The Sign: She says, "I need space"

What You Think It Means: “Give me some time alone, and then resume as we normally would.”

What It Actually Means: She’s over you.

“For women, ‘I need space’ often means ‘I am breaking up with you,'” says Jennifer Kelman, relationship and dating expert for pearl.com. “They just may not be able to communicate it effectively.”

The Sign: She tells you she’s fine

What You Think It Means: She’s fine

What It Actually Means: She is most definitely not fine. In fact, she’s about to punch a wall.

“Here’s a basic rule of thumb: If the woman in your life uses the word ‘fine’ to describe how they feel about something, they almost always feel the opposite,” says Eric Resnick, dating coach and owner of profilehelper.com. “It’s one thing if she tells you that she’s good, or even OK, but ‘fine’ always seems to have something hiding behind it. Guys take their partner’s words at face value, causing them to miss the chance of fixing problems before they become relationship crises.”

Topics:
  • Relationships
  • Sexual health
Author picture
Written by Hilary Sheinbaum
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