Actor, author, and high-performance coach, Joseph Ari’el Towne has worked with award winning creatives, Fortune 500 executives, and the elite-of-the-elite when it comes to world-class athletes, but as his new book The Better Mindset: The Art & Science of Getting Better at What Matters Most, explains, the concept of becoming our “best” self is really the stuff of social media vagueness, with little direction attached. Instead, Towne teaches that small, measurable changes can lead to a “better” self, which is far more achievable than some heavily filtered influencer’s notion of perfection.
“The idea of being my best self or living my best life is a vague, catchy phrase that people throw around without giving a lot of thought to its meaning, or why it ultimately matters,” Towne tells M&F. Many people will know Joseph Ari’el Towne for appearing in movies like Isn’t it Romantic with Rebel Wilson, and as Sully in Decade of the Dead, but the actor is also a well-known-wellness-coach behind the camera and has long been interested in the idea that our mindset can lead to physical improvements. “This book is an effort to get us to stop focusing on the idea of ‘Best,’” he explains of his important new work. “Instead, it invites us to become better.”
Storm Santos
Okay, but why is better any less vague than best, you might ask. “Best is an outcome, better is a direction,” qualifies Towne, who explores this, and similar themes on his “The Better Mindset Podcast” As a coach, Towne wants everyone to reach their full potential, so swapping best for better does not mean slacking off. “It doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for giving our all, or going full out,” says Towne. “It doesn’t mean we can’t set benchmarks and goalposts, like a personal best in a race or how much we are lifting. But those moments are fleeting. We have them, and it can be a long while before they happen again. So, what do we do in between? And what can we do every day to continue improving, steadily, over time?”
What Is ‘The Better Mindset’ & How Does It Differ From ‘Best’?
“The Japanese have a term called ‘Kaizen,’” says Towne. “It translates roughly to continuous improvement, the practice of getting a little better, consistently, over time. The idea is that extraordinary transformation does not come from a single breakthrough but rather from thousands of tiny ones stacked together over time. The principle is less about the big improvements or the massive leaps, and more about getting 1% better today, then doing it again tomorrow, and the day after that. These little things compound over time.”
Whether it’s a new year’s resolutions or a crash diet, many of us have made a great start at making a dramatic change to our lifestyle at one time or another, only to fall back into old habits because we took on too much, too soon. “I think we all overestimate what we can accomplish in one day, and we underestimate what we can accomplish in forty,” says Towne.
The Steps to Becoming Your ‘Better’ Self
Focus on the long game: “Forget those unrealistic images of perfection that you see all around you and focus on the power that comes from an accumulation of consistent, small, wins,” says Towne. “It’s the willingness to get better slowly instead of seeking to do it all at once,” he adds. “Seeing the value in compounding actions, and recognizing that even though this is deceptively simple, it can be far more effective.”
Log your efforts: Instead of abstract notions of best, a more tangible plan that comes from tying to get better can lead to far greater results if logged. For example, those that keep daily food and exercise journals are more aware of portion sizes, and the calories that they burn. This increased accountability then provides a better understanding of where things are going right or wrong in the daily routine. Journaling has also been shown to have a positive effect on mental health, once again leading to more powerful results.
Embrace the challenge instead of running from it: For some people, the pressure of becoming the best version of themselves is so intimidating that they prefer not to even start, that way, there’s no shame attached to failure—whatever that means. “Doing anything new requires a new vision,” says Towne, sympathetically. “It requires pushing past outdated ways of thinking and rewiring old habits. Doing new things, to me, is brave,” he adds.
So, if you want to get off the starting blocks with a new meal plan or exercise regime, embrace the feeling of being outside of your comfort zone, says the coach. “I recognize that being challenged is part of the deal,” he explains. “I love being challenged, in equal measure to the way I am supported, whether that is between me and myself or with someone I care about who is doing both: supporting and challenging me.”
Towne’s theories are tried and tested through trial and error, proving that success often comes from failure. His latest book contains a heartfelt forward by former footballer and current NBC Sports analyst, Yogi Roth, who joins actor Matthew Lillard in endorsing the lessons that are available inside of its pages. Many of Towne’s other high-profile clients wish to remain anonymous, but a better mindset is something that we all strive for regardless of stature. “Getting better is not for everyone,” Towne tells M&F. “Some people like to stay comfortable. I don’t feel like anyone needs to do anything that isn’t for them, but I certainly feel like those committed to getting better over time are the people I want to do life with.”
The coach also teaches the importance of setting up the right environment to succeed. “Remove the things that keep us stuck in old stories,” he says. “Our environment is marketing to us every day. Is yours telling the story of where you have been or where you are going?”
It’s comforting to know then, that we can make meaningful and positive changes without comparing ourselves to the “Best” of social media. “If I value sustainable improvements over time, ‘Better’ becomes an incredibly magnetic option,” says Towne. “Better doesn’t care what age you are. It doesn’t care about gender. It doesn’t care what you do for a living or what you have accomplished already. It doesn’t matter how many mistakes you have made or where you start. It matters where you finish.”
The Better Mindset: The Art & Science of Getting Better at What Matters Most is now available to pre-order.
