Example: Date night used to be special-now it consists of ordering takeout and watching Lost reruns. The last time you brought her flowers, it was because she was so mad at you she was going to make you sleep on the couch. It’s an easy trap to fall into: You figure she’ll always be there and that her love is undying, but lo and behold, she actually checked out long ago and is now just making mental notes of what she’s taking with her and what junk she might be able to pawn off on you.
The lesson: Let her know you appreciate her. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Every once in a while, just let her catch you staring at her, then shake your head, sigh, and mumble low but audibly, “Damn, no matter how many times I look, you still blow me away” (or some similar sentiment). Top it off by showing everybody else how you feel when the two of you are out together. Drape your arm around her shoulders in a way that screams, “That’s right, you bastards, step away. She’s mine.”
The Mistake: You stop trying
Example: Foreplay has been shortened to . . . well, none, actually. Sex consists of wham, bam, time to scram-with you heading back to your apartment (or side of the bed) as soon as you’re done, regardless of the fact that she’s just getting warmed up.
The lesson: Brush up on your math. There’s a simple equation at work here: The longer you work at turning her on, the louder she’ll scream when you take the plunge-and the longer she’ll be able to keep going until you climax.;/p>
The Mistake: You stare at other girls in front of her
Example: At first you only had eyes for her; now she’s catching you craning your neck at anything in a skirt.
The lesson: Ogle on your own time and don’t bother explaining that you’re just looking. Even if she acts like she doesn’t care, she does. And if you don’t recognize it, sooner or later you won’t be the only one who’s checking out all the available goods on display.
The Mistake: You have trouble finding time for her
Example: She doesn’t care whether you’re staying late at work or desperately need to get to the gym, all she knows is that you’re not spending time with her.
The lesson: If she thinks other things in your life are taking priority over her, there’s a good chance she’s right. And if you want the relationship to work, you’ll need to make it up to her. Just remember, it doesn’t have to be “quality” time; it just has to be time. Ask her to meet you at work for lunch, go to the gym with you, or just bring a book and sit with you while you finish a report. She’ll feel needed, you’ll have company, and, believe it or not, it’ll make her feel just as special as going out for one good romantic meal once every three weeks or so would.
The Mistake: You judge her friends and family
Example: You make a comment that her mom is a little batty, her father is on repeat, or her brother is a cheap-ass flake. And, even if it’s true, she doesn’t think it’s funny.
The lesson: Blood is thicker than water. Even if she’s got a big rock on her finger, there are certain lines you simply cannot cross (without making a trip down the aisle, you shouldn’t even try). The best advice: When it comes to friends and family, simply bite your tongue and keep your thoughts to yourself. Unless she brings up a complaint herself-in which case, that person instantly becomes free game and is open for you to rag on and mock incessantly.
