Still can’t figure out the enigma that is the female orgasm? Cosmo conducted a survey to give you a hand—figuratively, of course—to find out what’s standing between you and your lady’s orgasm. Take a look at these surprising stats and study up. Some mental stimulation now will get you prepared for some oral stimulation later.  

First thing’s first: How often does your partner climax? If you have no cluecan’t even ballpark itthen that’s probably the root of your problem. According to Cosmo’s Orgasm Study, 57 percent of women have orgasms most or every time they have sex with their partner.

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Now that we know she’s only satisfied about half the time, lets get into the reasons things are falling flat. Sorry guys, but the majority of the blame lands on your shoulders. About 50 percent of women said, “I feel like I’m almost there but can’t quite get over the edge.” Meanwhile 38 percent confessed they didn’t get “enough clitoral stimulation” and 35 percent added they weren’t receiving “the right kind of clitoral stimulation.” 

To add insult to injury, 72 percent of women admitted they’ve had a partner climax, then not attempt to help them finish (you seeing a pattern here?). 

What’s more, 67 percent of women confirm they’ve faked an orgasm, either to make their partner feel better and spare his feelings (28 percent), or to end sex more quickly because they knew they wouldn’t orgasm anyway (27 percent). Yikes.

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And in case you’re thinking these women are just impossible to please, know that you’re wrong. Here’s how most women reach the grand finale, according to the Cosmo survey: 

>>>39% Orgasm via masturbation with their hand or sex toy
>>>20% Orgasm via vaginal intercourse + clitoral stimulation
>>>15% Orgasm via vaginal intercourse + no clitoral stimulation
>>>12% Orgasm via oral sex
>>>9% Orgasm via their partner using his/her hand
>>>2% Orgasm via their partner using a sex toy
>>>3% Orgasm via other means and measures 

Identify where you’re going wrong (take a look at The 10 Most Common Sex Mistakes) and use our expert advice, Cosmo’s stats, and feedback from your girlfriend, wife or lover to make sex better for the both of you.