The Top 10 Questions Men Ask About Sex

Sexologist Emily Morse answers your most common—and sometimes embarrassing—questions about women and sex.


The Top 10 Questions Men Ask About Sex

7. How can I improve my oral sex skills?

Think about something you excel at and chances are, you rock it because you really enjoy doing it. The same goes for giving great oral. The best way to be great at oral sex is to learn to like it. Or at least act like you do. That will help her feel more comfortable and then you will find you actually do enjoy it.

The biggest mistakes guys make when performing oral is going straight for her genitals. Don’t dive right in like it’s a pie-eating contest! She’s not warmed up yet, and it might even hurt her if she’s not aroused. The best thing to do is to tease her and draw out the experience before you even start going down. Plant kisses on her abdomen and thighs. Use your hands to gently massage the area surrounding her vagina to heighten her anticipation. When you finally do make contact, start off slowly with slight licks and gentle caresses to warm her up. Use both the tip and flat part of your tongue to flick and lick. Women tend to prefer circular motions, but experiment with different speeds and pressure, and pay attention to how she responds. If you’re feeling adventurous, try tracing the alphabet with your tongue, or lightly humming to create a slight vibrating sensation. You can also throw your fingers into the mix to try a little G-spot stimulation along with your tongue. As she gets closer to climax, keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Once she’s had her Big O, return to the gentle kisses around her outer labia and thighs before popping your head up to experience the praise for your hard work.

8. How can I have a threesome?

Depending on the situation, threesomes can either be extremely fun or really dangerous for the relationship. If one of the two people in question is your significant other, proceed with caution. Make sure that you and your significant other are in a good place—emotionally, sexually or otherwise. If you’re not strong in any of those areas, the threesome could be the straw that breaks the relationship’s back. Preexisting jealousy issues and low self-esteem are signs you should abort the mission. Only couples with a solid healthy relationship and adventurous sexual tastes should attempt to ride the tricycle. If you and your partner meet the criteria, the next step is introducing the idea in a non-threatening way. Just like anal sex, if you mess up the intro, the door will slam in your face. Initiate a conversation about both of your fantasies. When you bring up the idea, make her the center of your threesome scenario. Talk about how sexy it would be to see her with another woman. She will certainly feel more desired and this will squash any insecurities she has about you wanting to be with another woman.

After this, you and your partner need to lay down some ground rules, like whether you’ll invite a friend or a guest star, what are the no-no’s, how you want the night to end, and so on. If you’re both open to the experience, and honest with each other, you can both get the most out of your ménage a trois.

9. Is my penis too small?

Let’s start with the facts: Scientifically speaking, a penis is not considered to be small if it is more than three inches in length. That being said, only about 35% of men believe that the size of their penis is sufficient. That’s a lot of penis anxiety. In contrast, a 2012 Scottish study found that 60% of female participants said that penis size made no difference to their sexual pleasure. If you’re still feeling less than average (which, for the record, is between 5.6-6.2 inches in length when hard), then here are a few tips to make the most of what you’ve got:

Amp up the foreplay: Women love a man who is good with his hands and mouth. If she has several orgasms before the sex even starts, you’ll still come out on top, no matter what you’re packing.

Switch up the positions: Avoid positions like missionary which might not be as orgasmic for her with your size, and instead try cowgirl position, which allows for optimal penetration and provides her with control of pace and depth.

10. Sometimes I can’t finish during sex; what’s wrong with me?

Some guys finish quickly and others can’t finish at all. Delayed ejaculation is when you just can’t seem to ejaculate during intercourse no matter how hard you try and no matter how long you have sex. You’re there, she’s there, you’re hard, the sex feels great, and yet an hour might go by and you’re no closer to crossing that finish line.

The frustrating thing about delayed ejaculation is that the majority of men of who suffer from it can still masturbate to completion. It’s only when a partner gets thrown in the mix that they become unwilling marathon men. The causes vary widely, from health issues, to medication, to psychological issues like anxiety or depression. This disorder is still considered somewhat rare, and is not completely understood by psychologists and sex therapists. But that doesn’t mean you should ignore the problem and continue having intercourse sans orgasms forever. Experiment with mutual masturbation and when you know you’re about to ejaculate you can move inside her and release. If this still doesn’t work and you’re having consistent trouble ejaculating during sex, it’s important to get help from a professional. Treatment usually includes some form of therapy, whether by yourself or with your significant other (good news, though: It’s sex therapy).

SEE ALSO: 15 Sex Tips from the Bedrooms of Real Women>>