The key to a woman’s heart might be found through her shoulders—with the perfect massage.

Admit it, you’ve probably given your woman more than one half-assed rubdown thinking it was all you had to do to warm her up for sex. Some pinches here, a few rubs there, and boom, you’re set.

But you can do better.

“Think of massage as sex without the penetration,” says Juan Urosa, a licensed massage therapist from New York City’s acclaimed Great Jones Spa. Do it right, and she’ll be putty in your hands.

Here’s how to make it happen.

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Soak her muscles

Get her relaxed before you amaze her. “Prepare a bath and pour in some essential oils,” Urosa says. (You’ll find them in any “chick” store.) “The bath will get her muscles ready for the massage.” And it gives you an excuse to towel her off.

Make her comfy

Have her lie on your bed, facedown. Soften your hands with massage oil, then start rubbing her feet, not her back. “We have thousands of nerve endings in our soles that stimulate the entire nervous system,” Urosa says. “Massage each foot, then slowly move up to her calves, then legs, and so on.” Keep the progression slow.

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Change up your strokes

“Start with compressions—lean on the heels of your palms and apply pressure onto her muscles,” Urosa says. Then knead—don’t poke—her muscles with your fingers. Feather strokes are great on tender areas. Just roll your fingers back and forth while you move your hands up and down the muscle. “Pay attention to the top part of each muscle where it meets the bone.”

Focus on her pleasure zones

“Her inner thighs up to her pelvic bone, her glutes, and pectoral muscles are all highly sensual areas,” Urosa says. They’re also neglected by the pros. “Use compressions followed by kneading on the inner thighs, butt, and tailbone, and feather strokes on the breasts.”

Bonus Tip:

Ninety-one percent of women say their whole day would be better if they could find just 10 minutes a day to relieve their stress. So get to it!