It's been a day or so now since the FLEX Pro and I'm still unsure of how I'm feeling about things. I know the right words to say and the things people wanna here. Things like; champions never quit, champions come back bigger and better, it's part of the game, dust yourself off and get back up. These are all cliches you here after a supposed champion gets his ass handed to him.
To be completely honest I never bought any of the hype about myself leading into the show, I truly just trained my ass off and wanted to bring the best package I could. I really felt I was as conditioned as Ive ever been, sure I may have sacrificed a little fullness for that grainy look but that's the look I wanted. Not to mention if I was more full, people would have just said, oh he's not grainy enough. At the end of the day you really just have to bring your best and hope its enough to put you over the top.
So what now? Whats a bodybuilder supposed to do when he brings his best package, thinks its enough to win yet only ends up with a third place? At the end of the show I stood there listening to them call me in third and thought to myself, here we go another top five finish to add to my never ending string of top five finishes.
I can't go out like that. I can't be happy with third, not when I believe I was better than that. I can't walk away from it all knowing I should have been better and I didn't
make them see what I see in my mind of what I can be. I know I could have won that show, I know some think I should have won that show but I guess my job is to prove it to the judges.
Ok, so here goes the motivational part. Life sucks sometimes, you bust your ass day in day out giving it everything you got and sometimes you end up eating shit. That's right. You end up eating shit and it never tastes good. What does taste good is knowing that there is tomorrow and there is always more I can give. I won't let anyone tell me I'm not good enough, I won't let any judge, fan, promoter, sponsor or anyone anywhere tell me when enough is enough. I'm the only one who can tell me when it's enough and now is not the time.
I know I have more in me and I know the best of me hasn't been seen yet. I'm bringin the best package I can to the ASC and after that it's back to the drawing board. This year I brought up my arms when they said I couldn't, I've brought up every body part they told me I couldn't and this is no different. This year I raise the whole bar and when I step up again I'll make sure it's not even close.
