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Sure, a night of boring sex might still be the most entertaining evening you’ve had all week, but that’s no reason to settle into a lame routine in bed—especially when there are so many opportunities for greatness. In order to take your sex life to the next level, we asked four sexologists to share the bedroom tricks you haven’t tried yet, but should. Like, right now. Trust us.
Besides, you don’t need a special holiday—like Valentine’s Day or a birthday—to get adventurous in the bedroom.
If you’ve always gotten it on horizontally, it’s time to think vertical. Sex coach Dr. Patti Britton, Ph.D. says that standing sex is a huge rush that will make you feel like the most macho sex god around—and your partner will agree. It helps if you’ve been doing your squats, but if you need a little extra assistance for this move you thought only worked in movies, Britton says there are a few tricks to pulling it off without breaking a hip. Lean against a wall, or even better, put one foot up on a comfortable chair for balance. Have her wrap her legs around your waist—and watch her get literally swept off her feet by your prowess.
Even if you’re pretty sure you’re a master of oral, here’s something you’re probably missing: “There’s a little spot right above the clitoris called the front commissure,” says Dr. Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex counselor and founder of Good in Bed. “If a woman is on top and grinding against the pelvis, it will hit that spot. You can also apply pressure with the top of your teeth where it meets your gum, while also applying rhythmic stimulation with your tongue or a sex toy.” Thing is, she might not even realize how sensitive she is there—so it’s a surprise move that will surely blow her mind.
Long-distance duos might already be all over this one, but couples in the same area code don’t normally think about using video chat to engage in a session of virtual sex. However, Kerner recommends it—even if your’e already living under the same roof. “There’s an element of voyeurism and exhibitionism that a lot of women fantasize about,” he explains. You can watch her touch herself, or let her watch you. If you’re not sure how to get started, Kerner says that some women find it hot for you to watch them watch porn, or vice versa—which might make both of you feel less awkward about engaging in a little self-pleasure for your audience of one.
If you only go down when she’s lying down, take things for a new twist. Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, recommends this move: Next time you’re about to go in for the oral treatment, switch it up by asking her to get on all fours. Then, perform oral on her from behind, lying underneath her on your back with your legs facing away from her body. “It’s an unexpected sensation, as sucking on the clitoris and using your tongue from below feels different than when you’re face down,” says Levine. “And it’s a way to find new erogenous angles with your mouth.”
You know your girl has read Fifty Shades of Grey and gotten a little flushed with excitement, so Kerner suggests you take it one step further and introduce some light BDSM into the bedroom. If you’re not sure getting a little rough is really her (or your) thing, baby steps are fine. According to Kerner, it can be as simple as renting porn with similar themes and watching it together, or if you’re into it, you can pick up some basic gear, like restraints, a riding crop, or nipple clamps. Come up with a few safe words, and try switching up the dominant role so you can play both sides of the game.
Levine suggests this bedroom move, which begins as a sweet and cozy opener that heats up in an unexpected way. “Start off your sex session in the spooning position, with you behind her as the big spoon and both of you on your sides,” she says. “Then, have her rotate to a 90-degree angle, so your bodies are perpendicular and she’s on her back with one leg in between yours and one over your upper thigh.” This will give you more space for movement, not to mention the freedom to touch her in all the right spots. (Bonus: You’ll be able to watch her face react as you do.)
While new positions are great, Britton reveals that you can use an old standard in a fresh, exciting way. Before getting into your tried and true—but not overly complicated—Kama Sutra position, ask her to gently tie a silk scarf around your eyes as a blindfold. Restricting one sense will heighten all your others in an intense way, Britton assures. You’ll smell her scent, hear her moans more clearly, and feel every little movement with greater intensity. It’s so good, it’ll be worth not seeing the goods just this once. And when you’re ready for an eyeful again, make it her turn by covering her eyes and letting her experience all the intensified glory.
When your pheromones go wild, so will you. Go fragrance free for seven days, says forensic sexologist Eric Garrison, and see the crazy effect that your natural scent will have on your sex life. You don’t actually have to skip bathing—just dump the artificial scents so that your woman can smell your own distinctive, personal musk, which she won’t be able to get enough of. Pick up some fragrance-free soap, shampoo, laundry detergent, deodorant, and shaving cream (listen, it’s a small investment for mind-blowing sex). Wash all your clothes with the new, unscented stuff and start using the odorless grooming products, then sit back and watch how your woman goes wild for you during kissing, cuddling, and of course, sex. Says Garrison, “Trust me—this is a dealmaker.”
Shutting your mouth might seem intuitive to sex, but as long as it’s only metaphorically and not literally, it can take it to another level, advises Britton. Agree that neither you nor she will make a peep during the act from start to finish. Without words to rely on, you’ll have to find new (and super hot) ways to show each other what you’re liking and what you want next. This, in turn, will increase the intimacy—and maybe even make you feel like you’re two teenagers sneaking around again. Either way, it will definitely change up your tired old routine.
You don’t have to install a crazy contraption in your house to bring some swing into your life. Garrison notes that if you’ve got a pull up bar installed in your door, along with a bed sheet and a willing partner, you’re totally equipped for this adventurous move. Here’s how he says to do it: “Take a queen or king flat sheet length-wise and fold it or bunch it into a long strap. Drape it over the bar, so that the U portion is in front and the ends hang over the back. Reach through the U with each hand and grab an end in each hand. Your partner can sit in it like a swing or open it up some, and lean into it for doggy style.” You’ll love the deep penetration, the Cirque du Soleil feel, and the opportunity to show off your toned arms. (Just make sure your bar is very secure for safety.)