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When it comes to sex toys, you might have your reservations. Why complicate things? What’s wrong with a penis—is that not enough anymore? What’s wrong with MY penis?! Well, we don’t know you intimately enough to answer all of those questions. We can assume you and your penis are perfectly capable of getting her off. But there’s something to say about getting out of your comfort zone and exploring the limits of your pleasure. Complicating things doesn’t have to be all that complicated. It can, however, introduce you to some mind-melting, nerve-tingling, lose-absolute-control orgasms.
And, no, sex toys aren’t just for women. “It’s not just about making friends with her vibrator so you’ve got backup if you don’t make her orgasm,” says Tracey Cox a sex, body language, and relationship expert. (She also has a new product range of sex toys for men deisgned to maximize your performance called Edge.) “Toys help solve the age-old problem that comes with sleeping with the same person time and time again: boredom!” she explains.
Sex toys provide all the novelty, adventure, and kinkiness your sex life has been missing without the risk of endangering your relationship—something that can easily happen if you try to spice things up with, say, a threesome.
If you haven’t noticed, the pleasure industry is a booming business, not likely to lose steam anytime soon. So there really is a sex toy for every guy, whether you’re a little more reserved and trying to dip your toe in the pool or you’re all-in, swimming in deep water.
Now, keep reading to see how these devices (and more) can elevate your favorite sex positions.
It’s pretty unanimous: Men love doggie style. It’s the position that gives you the deepest penetration, the most control, and a great view. But, more often than not, this position fails to get women off because you’re not stimulating her clitoris. To make sex more satisfying for the both of you, try this:
“Wear a penis ring and hold a medium-size vibrator on her clitoris,” Cox says. “A penis ring is simply a firm ring you slide on around the base of your penis to keep an erection strong and firm,” Cox explains. Some adjust with a toggle, others look like small rubber rings, but all work to stimulate her clitoris during penetration. “Wearing one will score you major points with her,” Cox says, “just make sure to grind rather than thrust to enable constant contact with the clitoris,” she recommends. If it’s too much for her to handle in the beginning, opt for one sex toy; then add the other as she becomes accustomed to the sensation. She can even put a hand over yours to guide the vibrator to the speed and rhythm that’ll build her up to climax.
Traditionally this position is a female-favorite since she can ride you and take full reign over the movement—pulling back and thrusting to hit her g-spot and run the full length of your shaft, or taking you deep and grinding against your body for clitoral stimulation. But to make the sex more explosive for you, try this variation:
“He’s blindfolded while she uses him for her pleasure, stopping to tease his nipples and testicles with her vibrator,” Cox says. There are a few elements working here. By taking away your sight—yes, it robs you of the show and her body on display—it heightens your senses; what’s more, your body doesn’t know what to anticipate. The stimulation can happen anywhere, so you’re more attuned to the sensations as they happen, not as you expect them to.
It’s not always imaginative, but Missionary gets the job done; it’s also one of the top positions for men and women because it boosts intimacy and gives you both what you want: good penetration for him, clitoral stimulation for her. There’s an incredibly easy way to set fire to her blood (and yours), though:
“Apply some orgasm gel (lube that has stimulants in it to add heat and draw blood) to her clitoris,” Cox says. The more you get into this position, the closer your bodies are, and the more your bodies heat up and sweat, making it more intense. You can also add a vibrating penis ring or a toy that will stay in place (without holding it) against her clitoris.
One of the trickiest of all sex positions, standing-up sex involves a fair amount of strength and logistics to work out in your favor. If there’s a good height difference between the two of you, your pelvises won’t line up; she’ll need to be propped up or standing on something solid that won’t move. However, you can also get her to climax without penetration. If you want to use this as a precursor to sex, hold a vibrator on her clitoris. You can face each other, wrap one arm around her body and use the other to control the vibrator while she wraps an arm around your neck/shoulders and uses her free hand to stimulate you.