First comes love, then comes marriage, and don’t even worry about the baby in the baby carriage because a quarter of all newlyweds don’t have sex on their wedding night, according to a survey from the wedding stationary company Paper Shaker.

These findings are a little more promising than Bride to Be magazine’s 2013 survey that found 52% of couples failed to consummate their marriage, with 17% admitting they didn’t get around to it for more than three days after the ceremony.

So what gives? Has sex become blasé? Do we just not care?

Well, not exactly. The Bride to Be survey found that 90% of couples expected to seal the deal, so in theory, sex on our wedding night is something we look forward to and earnestly wish to complete like some task bestowed upon us from Venus, or Aphrodite, or some other sex god.

There are just a few things that get in the way—namely, men. Not to point fingers, but the reason 24% of couples fail to have wedding-night sex is because the groom is too drunk. Whether or not it means he’s mentally or physically incapable of doing the deed, it’s the top reason, so slow down on the Irish car bombs. That’s the purpose of bachelor parties anyway. 

Don’t stress, though: the bride isn’t faultless. For 16% of couples, women are too tired to romp around, and 13% are too intoxicated. Some other reasons include having to watch the kids (11%), fighting before the reception ended (9%), leaving or traveling to the honeymoon (9%), and pulling an all-nighter with party guests (7%).

Understandable? Yes. Times have changed. Most couples have been living together (and yes, having sex) years before marriage. There aren’t too many tricks left up their sleeves. But if consummating your marriage is important to you and your partner, take a hint: go easy on the booze

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