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A little dirty talk between partners is perfectly healthy—except when you don’t quite hit the mark.
In the heat of the moment, what sounds like a clever line in your head doesn’t always come off the way you intend. You might think it’ll rev her engines and make things even hotter and heavier, but if it sounds wrong—looking at you, Mr. Pornstar Impersonator—odds are her sex drive is gonna go into neutral.
Of course, that’s not always the case. But based on these confessions, it’s a good assumption. (“Just think how talented these guys would be if porn were more realistic and instructional. It’s a tragedy, really,” one woman said.)
Check out these phrases that make her cringe—and then wipe them from your mind.
*Note that these are the opinions of each individual woman we interviewed and not neccessarily those of Muscle & Fitness.
“Did I just get you? Did you go? If I did then you should know, and if I didn’t, do I just lie and say I did? Don’t ask me during. Ask me after.” – Danielle C.
“How does that feel? It’s sweet once in a while, but not after every adjustment.” – Christina W.
“Do you love me? What the hell?! No, but what am I supposed to say when you’re inside me?” – Marie F.
“Anything descriptive that’s like a play-by-play. I don’t need a guy to tell me exactly what I see and feel happening.” – Alexa P.
“That’s the stuff. I died laughing.” – Rachel F.
“Does it feel good? Do you like that?” – Natalie K.
*Editor’s note: If you’re trying a new position, this is totally expected, if not encouraged. But you’ll take her out of the moment if you’re asking every other minute. This is a scenario where reading her body language is better than coming out and asking directly.
“Are you going to come soon? Saying this just makes me hyper-aware that you’re not getting me off. I don’t need a reminder.” – Vanessa P.
“Call me Daddy.” – Lindsay H.
“I’m not into any lovey, cutesy stuff like being called ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart’ if I’m not really into the guy—or if he’s never said that to me with our clothes on in a day-to-day scenario.” – Carly K.
*Editor’s note: Save the pet names and terms of endearment for when you actually know what she prefers and what ticks her off.
“Do you want to switch positions? I think it’s more of a turn on when the guy just takes control and switches if he wants to. Also, it takes you out of the moment and makes it feel like you’re brainstorming on a group project.” – Heather J.
“You like that, baby?“- Audrey M.
“When a guy thinks he’s a porn star and keeps referring to his ‘cock’ like it’s another person in the room.” – Kayla S.
“Any overly aggressive dirty talk where his tone and what he’s saying becomes too commanding can feel demeaning. I don’t want to be yelled at or spoken down to.” – Lauren M.
“Being called a ‘dirty girl’ or ‘whore’—I don’t know why guys think it’s hot at all to call a girl that.” – Alex W.
“Do you want me to make you come? Well, yeah—isn’t that the point of this?” – Sarah H.
“Once in a while is okay, but I hate when a guy keeps repeating the word ‘pussy.'” – Miranda F.
“Jeeez, are you gonna last all night? I’m sorry my orgasm isn’t coming in a timely enough manner for you. Do you have somewhere better to be?” – Liz D.
“Are you going to stay the night? A guy said this to me not five minutes into fooling around. Sould I just request an Uber halfway through so it’s here by the time you’re done?!” – Melanie G.
“Oops. Oops, what?! Oops, the condom just broke? Oops, you forgot you’re in a commited relationship? Never say oops during sex.” – Ann L.
“When he keeps asking what you want and how you want it.” – Brigid M.
*Editor’s note: For most women this isn’t bad; communication is everything. But repetition can ruin the mood. This isn’t an IKEA manual. Go off the cuff and gauge her reaction to positions and speed, then take it from there.