Once upon a time, some guy got laid and now he knows what you’re doing wrong and is willing to charge for the answer. Yes, everyone else thinks they can fix your romantic life. But is the advice worth reading?

As a sometime victim of you paperback lotharios (this girl gets around), I read five of the best-selling pickup pubs so you don’t have to. What I found: There’s good, awful, and—surprisingly—genius on the shelves.

7 tips for finding love in the new year

7 tips for finding love in the new year

Improve your dating skills.

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Rate that book:

  • 4 star: The last love advice you’ll even need.
  • 3 star: Read while standing in the bookstore.
  • 2 star: Wanna end up lonely and reviled?
  • 1 star: Author’s ankle bracelet goes off near playgrounds.

We’ve ranked them from best to worst.