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Like working out, sex can be bad—and possibly dangerous—if you haven’t warmed up properly.
Look, we know you’re desperate to get to the good stuff (trust us, so is she). But like that first minute on a roller coaster, foreplay can be an electric, exciting way to bring her higher and higher before taking the plunge.
If you take the time and make the right moves, you’ll find yourself loving the pre-game as much as you do the grand finale. But there’s more to foreplay than just rounding the bases and heading home. We asked women to find out how to make foreplay creative and exciting—and the moves that leave them desperate for more.
“I love a dude who can communicate during foreplay. Moaning and groaning is cool, but dirty talk is fun for both parties, and typically you end up getting more of what you actually want in the bedroom when you can be vocal about it in a playful way. It’s a great way to get me going.” — Kelly, 26
“It sucks when they don’t spend enough time on breasts. Most men seem more than happy to spend a good amount of time on other foreplay activities and areas, but they kind of just see the boobs, give them a quick once over, and then move on, rarely to return. It’s very sad. Give them more loving, we like it!” — Jessica, 26
“I’ve had a few just dive right in and try to just click away on my clit like it’s a computer mouse—like, first thing, before I’m even undressed. One guy got so rambunctious with his fingers that I felt like I was hooking up with Jack the Ripper. Relax, guys—that’s a bigger turn on.” — Stephanie, 28
“The act of undressing a person is, in itself, a type of foreplay. To me, it is the hottest part of being intimate with someone. Needless to say, when a guy is too excited about the end result that I end up taking my own clothes off in haste, it is a little disappointing.” — Selina, 29
“Tongue is fun and can be very, very sexy, but too much tongue is nasty. And this goes for tongue engagement across all body parts. Kisses are meant to involve lips and tongue, not tongue only. I don’t need to know what you ate for dinner…and lunch. Tongue and ears also can be sexy, but has the potential to go very wrong and make me feel like you’re trying to clean out my ears with your tongue. Neck: neck kisses are wonderful, but please don’t slobber all over me like a dog or leave hickeys post middle school. (I have to go to work with that.) And lastly, lady parts are very important—tongue is crucial but needs to be utilized correctly.” — Kelly, 26
“If I am not thoroughly warmed up, the sex won’t be good for anyone. In fact, it might hurt. Just be in the moment and enjoy all the fun fooling around. The good stuff will come (literally).” — Justine, 30
“If you’re using a hand down there, you still have another free hand. Either go for the boobs, another part of my privates, or even just caress me somehow. Don’t be lazy.” — Megan, 25
“Nothing is more awkward than when a guy is fingering me and just like hovering over me and staring at me. Kiss me! I don’t care where, but don’t just lie there creepily. What is so difficult about doing those two things at the same time?” — Sara, 32
“If I’m wearing something lacy, it’s for you. And if you don’t notice it, I wasted completely good underwear and a day in an uncomfortable bra for no reason. Don’t be in such a rush that you missed how hot I look in my lingerie. Take a second to take it all in, or you might not get to see it ever again.” — Kristin, 30
“The key word here is nibble. Do not by any means treat my skin like beef jerky. But a soft, light bite on my ear, nipple, lip, or neck is so hot. However, this does not apply to my downstairs area.” — Angie, 27