Don’t just stroke the obvious stuff. By exploring every inch of her body from head to toe, you’ll be able to tap the sort of pleasure she never even knew existed.
By now, you (ought to) know how to arouse a woman in the touch-her-lady-parts kind of ways. But even if you’re feeling confident with those skills, it’s time to dig a little deeper. Truth is, if you’re overlooking the other 95% of her body—or sticking with your usual repertoire—you’re missing out on the chance to make sex more electric for both of you. “Many guys make the mistake of touching what worked for an ex-girlfriend, but the same technique doesn’t work for every woman,” says Amy Jo Goddard, MA, a sexual empowerment coach in Napa, California.To help you shed the same old moves, we asked top sex experts to share the secretly sensuous parts of a woman’s body—and then got them to tell us how you can play them like a master pianist. (Oh, and just in case you need a refresher course in the genitalia department, we’ve got 411 for that too.)Check out: 10 Adventurous Sex Moves You’ve Never Tried>>>
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The Brain
Why it’s hot: Have you ever heard someone say that the mind is a woman’s biggest sex organ? Believe it. “Sex can easily become boring if there is no psychology to it,” says Goddard. “Appealing to her mind with the right sex talk will entice and excite her.”How to activate it: It’s essential to comprehend that there’s a range of sexy talk, from romantic to dirty—to downright kinky. “The same kind doesn’t turn every woman on, so find out what type of language and role playing works best for her,” says Goddard. Maybe she’ll want you to play the prince; maybe she likes it better if you’re more of a toad. It pays to find out.
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Her Scalp
Why it’s hot: A head massage helps release oxytocin, a stress hormone that provides a sense of calm while enhancing sexual pleasure, says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., sexual health guru and author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover.
How to activate it: Scratch the scalp, using long sweeping strokes with your nails or fingertips. Move toward the base of the head where it meets the neck, kneading the area with firm upward presses with your thumbs. Then work your way to the part of the scalp behind the ears, using the same repeated upward, forward motion. “She’ll love that the action is soothing, sensual, pampering, and seductive,” says Fulbright.
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Her Ears
Why it’s hot: It’s not just talking into them that could turn a woman on. Caressing her ears can be sexually stimulating, since they have more than 120 acupressure points, says Fulbright. “Chinese energy specialists believe that touching this area can send sexual energy throughout the body.”How to activate them: Ears can be very sensitive, so don’t grope them like a gorilla. “Press the lobes between your lips, or massage them gently with your fingertips,” says Fulbright.
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Her Nose
Why it’s hot: The olfactory sense is a key player in the biology of arousal, since intrinsically, people believe you are as you smell. “If you smell bad, women aren’t going to be turned on by you,” says neurologist Alan Hirsch, MD, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago.How to activate it: Beyond you not stinking up the room, there’s scientific research to suggest that certain odors arouse women more than others. Hirsch says a combination of licorice and cucumber is the number one scent to turn a woman on. And if that’s not easy to conger up, experiment with essential oils. “Patchouli and ginger increase sexual energy, and ylang ylang is said to increase sexual interest,” says Fulbright.
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Her Mouth
Why it’s hot: “The novelty of a first kiss drives up dopamine in the brain, and kissing a long-term partner releases oxytocin,” both of which are feel-good, put-you-in-the-mood brain chemicals, says Helen Fisher, PhD, a love and sex researcher at Rutgers University and chief scientific advisor for Match.com.How to activate it: Even if you prefer sloppy kisses (Fisher says men like them because saliva has traces of testosterone in it), she warns that most ladies aren’t so into it. Keep your lips firm-but-soft, and let the lady take the lead. She’ll probably kiss you the way she wants to be kissed back, which will definitely turn her on.
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Her Neck
Why it’s hot: According to Goddard, nearly everyone responds to the sternocleidomastoid muscle (let’s call it the SCM), which connects the base of the skull under the ear to the sternum. “It’s highly sensitive to kissing, licking, nibbling and biting,” she says.How to activate it: “My favorite technique, which is an absolute slam dunk every time, is to bite her neck, if you can learn to do it skillfully,” says Goddard. “Bite into it and release, repeating down the length of the muscle. Find the balance of biting down and releasing, and she will be putty in your hands.”
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Her Breasts
Why it’s hot: Reality check, guys: You may be more into playing with her boobs than she enjoys having you do it. You definitely shouldn’t concentrate all your energy on her twins, but “some women have orgasms just by having them touched the right way,” says Goddard.How to activate them: Resist every impulse to grope like a teenage boy. “Some women’s breasts are really sensitive, so light caresses or licking can go a long way,” says Goddard. “Other women’s breasts aren’t so sensitive, so you have to figure out what works for the woman you’re with.”
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Her Skin
Why it’s hot: “Skin is a powerful mechanism of arousal,” says Fisher. A huge part of the brain is devoted to touch, she says, but less is more—once again. “Women will get hot and bothered by even the slightest caress.”How to activate it: Here’s Goddard’s tip: Let her feel your breath against her skin without touching it. When she’s not expecting it, lightly touch her skin—with a fingernail, a long, slow stroke with one finger, or your tongue—down her belly, her thigh, her back, or her ass. Some women may respond to grabbing, kneading, or smacking too, but make sure you know she’s into that before you try it out.
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Her Clitoris
Why it’s hot: You really should know this already, but just in case: The clitoris is the female equivalent of a penis, and it gets hard—and releases—when it’s handled properly.How to activate it: Time to take a tip from another kind of pro: “The only difference between a gigolo and a regular guy is that the gigolo takes instructions,” says Fisher. “Get from her what she wants, and then give it to her. And don’t be too rough or too fast. Women like things slow and wet.”
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Her Feet
Why it’s hot: “An enormous part of the sensory nerves in the brain are devoted to the skin on your feet, but many people don’t focus on them,” says Fisher. “If a man wants to put a nice clean foot in his mouth, it will stimulate a very strong physiological response throughout a woman’s body, because part of the sensory cortex is stimulated.”How to activate them: If you want to work your way up to toe sucking, start by gently pinching her toes. This will relax her and build sexual anticipation. When you’re ready for the big time, you’ll get a great payoff: “Sucking her toes can be as pleasurable to her as oral sex,” says Laurie Watson, certified sex therapist and instructor at Duke University and the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill medical schools.
By now, you (ought to) know how to arouse a woman in the touch-her-lady-parts kind of ways. But even if you’re feeling confident with those skills, it’s time to dig a little deeper. Truth is, if you’re overlooking the other 95% of her body—or sticking with your usual repertoire—you’re missing out on the chance to make sex more electric for both of you. “Many guys make the mistake of touching what worked for an ex-girlfriend, but the same technique doesn’t work for every woman,” says Amy Jo Goddard, MA, a sexual empowerment coach in Napa, California.
To help you shed the same old moves, we asked top sex experts to share the secretly sensuous parts of a woman’s body—and then got them to tell us how you can play them like a master pianist. (Oh, and just in case you need a refresher course in the genitalia department, we’ve got 411 for that too.)
Why it’s hot: Have you ever heard someone say that the mind is a woman’s biggest sex organ? Believe it. “Sex can easily become boring if there is no psychology to it,” says Goddard. “Appealing to her mind with the right sex talk will entice and excite her.”
How to activate it: It’s essential to comprehend that there’s a range of sexy talk, from romantic to dirty—to downright kinky. “The same kind doesn’t turn every woman on, so find out what type of language and role playing works best for her,” says Goddard. Maybe she’ll want you to play the prince; maybe she likes it better if you’re more of a toad. It pays to find out.
Her Scalp
Why it’s hot: A head massage helps release oxytocin, a stress hormone that provides a sense of calm while enhancing sexual pleasure, says Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D., sexual health guru and author of Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover.
How to activate it: Scratch the scalp, using long sweeping strokes with your nails or fingertips. Move toward the base of the head where it meets the neck, kneading the area with firm upward presses with your thumbs. Then work your way to the part of the scalp behind the ears, using the same repeated upward, forward motion. “She’ll love that the action is soothing, sensual, pampering, and seductive,” says Fulbright.
Her Ears
Why it’s hot: It’s not just talking into them that could turn a woman on. Caressing her ears can be sexually stimulating, since they have more than 120 acupressure points, says Fulbright. “Chinese energy specialists believe that touching this area can send sexual energy throughout the body.”
How to activate them: Ears can be very sensitive, so don’t grope them like a gorilla. “Press the lobes between your lips, or massage them gently with your fingertips,” says Fulbright.
Her Nose
Why it’s hot: The olfactory sense is a key player in the biology of arousal, since intrinsically, people believe you are as you smell. “If you smell bad, women aren’t going to be turned on by you,” says neurologist Alan Hirsch, MD, director of the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago.
How to activate it: Beyond you not stinking up the room, there’s scientific research to suggest that certain odors arouse women more than others. Hirsch says a combination of licorice and cucumber is the number one scent to turn a woman on. And if that’s not easy to conger up, experiment with essential oils. “Patchouli and ginger increase sexual energy, and ylang ylang is said to increase sexual interest,” says Fulbright.
Her Mouth
Why it’s hot: “The novelty of a first kiss drives up dopamine in the brain, and kissing a long-term partner releases oxytocin,” both of which are feel-good, put-you-in-the-mood brain chemicals, says Helen Fisher, PhD, a love and sex researcher at Rutgers University and chief scientific advisor for Match.com.
How to activate it: Even if you prefer sloppy kisses (Fisher says men like them because saliva has traces of testosterone in it), she warns that most ladies aren’t so into it. Keep your lips firm-but-soft, and let the lady take the lead. She’ll probably kiss you the way she wants to be kissed back, which will definitely turn her on.
Her Neck
Why it’s hot: According to Goddard, nearly everyone responds to the sternocleidomastoid muscle (let’s call it the SCM), which connects the base of the skull under the ear to the sternum. “It’s highly sensitive to kissing, licking, nibbling and biting,” she says.
How to activate it: “My favorite technique, which is an absolute slam dunk every time, is to bite her neck, if you can learn to do it skillfully,” says Goddard. “Bite into it and release, repeating down the length of the muscle. Find the balance of biting down and releasing, and she will be putty in your hands.”
Her Breasts
Why it’s hot: Reality check, guys: You may be more into playing with her boobs than she enjoys having you do it. You definitely shouldn’t concentrate all your energy on her twins, but “some women have orgasms just by having them touched the right way,” says Goddard.
How to activate them: Resist every impulse to grope like a teenage boy. “Some women’s breasts are really sensitive, so light caresses or licking can go a long way,” says Goddard. “Other women’s breasts aren’t so sensitive, so you have to figure out what works for the woman you’re with.”
Her Skin
Why it’s hot: “Skin is a powerful mechanism of arousal,” says Fisher. A huge part of the brain is devoted to touch, she says, but less is more—once again. “Women will get hot and bothered by even the slightest caress.”
How to activate it: Here’s Goddard’s tip: Let her feel your breath against her skin without touching it. When she’s not expecting it, lightly touch her skin—with a fingernail, a long, slow stroke with one finger, or your tongue—down her belly, her thigh, her back, or her ass. Some women may respond to grabbing, kneading, or smacking too, but make sure you know she’s into that before you try it out.
Her Clitoris
Why it’s hot: You really should know this already, but just in case: The clitoris is the female equivalent of a penis, and it gets hard—and releases—when it’s handled properly.
How to activate it: Time to take a tip from another kind of pro: “The only difference between a gigolo and a regular guy is that the gigolo takes instructions,” says Fisher. “Get from her what she wants, and then give it to her. And don’t be too rough or too fast. Women like things slow and wet.”
Her Feet
Why it’s hot: “An enormous part of the sensory nerves in the brain are devoted to the skin on your feet, but many people don’t focus on them,” says Fisher. “If a man wants to put a nice clean foot in his mouth, it will stimulate a very strong physiological response throughout a woman’s body, because part of the sensory cortex is stimulated.”
How to activate them: If you want to work your way up to toe sucking, start by gently pinching her toes. This will relax her and build sexual anticipation. When you’re ready for the big time, you’ll get a great payoff: “Sucking her toes can be as pleasurable to her as oral sex,” says Laurie Watson, certified sex therapist and instructor at Duke University and the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill medical schools.
