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While it's part of the job description for our brethren in the IFBB ranks to take the stage tanned and hairless, the majority of us regular gym rats enjoy sporting our goatees and chest hair. They are, after all, among the many traits that set us apart from, uhh, women and stuff. And while we're not opposed at all to body grooming, we are opposed to those dudes at the gym that can't seem to grasp the etiquette of shaving away from home. Here are five pitfalls to avoid when toting your razor away from the confines of your own bathroom.
And to those of you who opt to endure the pain of waxing anyway, we salute you.
1) The Sink Scumbag
You've all seen this guy. He's the guy who plugs up a sink and fills it with water, then proceeds to shave and dip his razor in the water to clear off the hair and shaving gel. While we're unsure of why you'd continue to dip your razor into increasingly filthy water to scrape your face, the true crime here happens post-shave, when the guy pulls the sink plug up and walks away, leaving his whisker infested face scum as a nice coating on the sink for the next user. How about a courtesy splash around the sink? Would that be too much to ask?
2) The Sauna Shaver
Yes, we know your shaving gel or cream is awesome. We know it has eucalyptus and menthol and aloe and tea trea oil and a whole bunch of other fancy stuff that nobody can smell but you. But please, don't bring that fragrance frenzy into the sauna. Wet or dry, nobody wants to be in a cramped, humid room breathing in your face shavings and designer face cream. Shave at home, or at the sink, or anywhere where people aren't forced to inhale the detritus from your mug.
3) The 'Do My Neck Guy'
This guy is rare, but he's out there. He's the guy who turns to you, the dude who is harmlessly walking to the urinal, and asks if you wouldn't mind shaving his neck really quick. Nobody likes the fuzzy neck hair that grows between haircuts, but it's tolerable enough to not ask a stranger to strip you of yours. That's the job of a wife, a girlfriend, or, crazy enough, a barber.
4) The 'I Cut Myself and Left the Bloody Paper Towels all over the Sink Guy'
You know what's gross? Blood. You know what's even worse? Other people's blood strewn about on paper towels for everyone to see. Look, every guy will nick their neck and have to stop the bleeding with a bit of paper towel at some point in their shaving lives, all we ask is that you clean up.
5) The 'Shave My Armpits Guy'
Are you swimming in the Olympics? Are you named Michael Phelps? If not, there's no need for you to shave your armpits. And there's absolutely no need for you to do it in public. Honestly, having pit hair is one of the luxuries of being a dude. We don't have to shave our legs, we don't have to shave our pits. Hell, if you have a beard, you don't even really have to shave your face. Shaving is annoying. It's a chore. Guys don't like chores…at least those of us who don't care about our pit hair don't.
If you're going to shave, shave in style. The new Schick® Quattro® Titanium Trimmer shaves, edges and trims all in one awesome package, instantly saving you space in your gym bag. To enter for your chance to win one of 15 of these bad boys, send us an e-mail to firstname.lastname@example.org telling us about the worst gym shaving incident you've seen (or committed).
Please be sure to include your name, address and phone number or else your entry won't be considered. The 15 winning entrants must include the subject line GYM SHAVE to be eligible. Entries will only be accepted only through Wednesday, July 30. So save your mouse a click if you decide to send us a line next Thursday.
And, courtesy of the good folks at Shick, you can also throw yourself into the middle of a racy pillow fight…seriously. To find out how, go to www.trimflixx.com.