Well, it’s been a long 12 weeks and now I’m just sitting here waiting to finally get on stage. Its almost a little bit of a let down to be honest, you bust your ass three times a day sometimes four at the gym, tanning, grocery shopping, therapy and the whole bit and then it all stops!
That’s right, at five days out there is nothing left to do except sit here and wait for the big day. Sure I still have a couple depletion workouts and there’s some shaving and tanning to do, but overall it’s all done.
Really there is nothing you can do at this point as a bodybuilder, if your behind at five days out, chances are your going to be off. If you’re ready and waiting there is also nothing you can do except, visualize, pose and count the minutes till your next meal…fuck that sucks.
Most people think that when you start carb loading that things get easier and your all of a sudden fine. For me nothing could be further from the truth. When I’m on low cals I feel pretty shitty but at least its constant and my stomach gets used to the hunger. When I start carb loading all of a sudden my mind goes into overdrive and I just want more, more and more of whatever it is I’m eating or aloud to eat!
For me, it actually takes more discipline carb loading the last few days before a show than the entire prep takes altogether. Finishing strong, that is a cliché now a days but it’s the truth. Many of us who have competed know that sweet spot between 8 and 2 weeks out where life is great, your getting shredded and you look good. There are only a few of us who know what the last two weeks really feel like…and it feels like shit!
Finishing strong isn’t about some hardcore saying on a shirt. Finishing strong means when your dying to eat, can’t sleep, have no strength and your sick of it all, you can still find it somewhere inside of you to bring out your best. Right about now I hate life…lol. I know that sounds stupid, you’re thinking, if you hate life then why are you doing it?
Even though I hate life I know I will thank myself for getting through the hell. It builds character, makes you feel like a man and also lets you know, you’re the one in control of your own destiny! Like a wise man once said to me a while back, if you don’t finish this and you quit you will quit everything for the rest of your life, no matter what it is.
It dawned on me that day a year or so ago, he was right. Sometimes we make decisions not realizing they will effect every other decision we make from here on. It’s about integrity and having your word mean something, even if that word is only in your own mind spoken to yourself.
I’ve told myself, that’s it; I will be at my best this year or I will do everything in my power to make that happen. If I cheat now, rest now, stop now or even lay off the pedal, how can I really look myself in the eye afterwards, win, lose or draw? Winning and losing don’t mean shit if you can’t look yourself in the face and be proud of who and what you are. When I stand on that stage knowing I gave everything and left it all in the gym, whether I take first, second or third, or even worse, I can look at myself and know that I didn’t let up. I didn’t give in; I didn’t crack under the pressure.
