The old cliché of a businessman coming home to his wife with lipstick on his collar or perfume clinging to his clothes simply isn’t a reality anymore. The lipstick is being replaced by incriminating texts, the perfume by damning email archives—and now more women than ever are joining the ranks of the unfaithful.

Experts have plenty of theories about why infidelity is changing: some say the aforementioned technology makes cheating easier, while others argue that humans simply aren’t wired for monogamy. But we weren’t interested in speculation. We wanted to hear from the men and women in the figurative trenches: Those who’ve been the victims of infidelity, those who’ve cheated themselves, and those who fall into that murky grey area that’s hard to define. (Does sexting count?)

So we teamed up with our sister site, SHAPE.com, to put together this survey about your experiences with and thoughts about infidelity. Head on over to SHAPE.com to take the anonymous poll—and check back in a couple weeks for the results.