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There are some great benefits to having lots of sex. In fact, research has found having 20 or more sexual partners reduces your risk of prostate cancer. But if you’re not using a condom? All the benefits go out the window. You’re looking at a heightened risk of STIs like chlamydia and gonorrhea.
And by having 20 or more sexual partners, what does that do to how women perceive you? College may have been a blur of frat parties and women, and post-college might currently be a blur of long work days and Tinder one-night stands. But is it making you less attractive to women? Do they find you unsafe? A player?
We asked 20 women to weigh in. We gave them simple parameters: Consider a guy in his 20s or 30s. How many partners is too many? In short: At what point does a man’s sexual escapades become a turn off? Here’s what they had to say.
“If the number is over 25, things get a little hairy; and if it’s 30-40, I’m out.” – Sam M.
“15 is my cap. That’s a lot of people if you’re in your 20s or 30s.” – Kristen T.
“I would say more than 10 would be an eyebrow raiser because that would account for a few wild years and a few steady relationships.” – Brianne S.
“Anything over 15 makes me nervous that he’s more dirty than experienced…” – Julia C.
“Numbers don’t matter as much to me as much as his attitude does… but if it was over 30, I’d be a little skeptical.” – Lauren M.
“Guys are never honest and I feel like my number is high, so I don’t feel the need to know. I’d be fearful that I’d have more, though…” – Alena D.
“Over 25 for sure. I prefer lower than that; 20-25 is where I start seeing it as a turn off.” – Nicole M.
“I know someone whose number is 68. He wasn’t bragging about it when he said it, but my girl friends and I were like ‘that’s gross.’ No girl wants to know or hear that.” – Lindsay R.
“30+. I want him to have some game.” Carissa D.
“The number doesn’t really matter much to me, so long as mine isn’t higher. And I’ll keep that number to myself thank you very much.” – Erica D.
“For me, 15 is too many.” – Christina W.
“Anything more than 12.” – Heather A.
“I’d say over 15. Of course, women want to be with a guy who knows how to move in the bedroom and isn’t just going to jackhammer and grunt for four and a half minutes. But I know, personally, it makes me uncomfortable to think about my partner or boyfriend having been with tons and tons of girls.” – Rebecca D.
“20 is my cap. Realistically, a man or woman isn’t getting checked for STDs or using a condom every time they have sex with every new sexual partner. That makes me nervous for my own health.” – Ann D.
“I think over 10-15. Every man has a past and you can’t blame them for wanting to ‘sew their wild oats’ as long as they’re not still trying to sew them with other women while they’re with you.” – Kelly P.
“I have a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell policy.’ I have no desire to know how many partners they’ve had.” – Vanessa P.
“I would normally say 20. But I had a guy reveal he had sex with 72 people before me, which I didn’t learn until later… I wasn’t happy.” – Nicole G.
“30+.” – Tara E.
“I think if a guy is 25-30 years old, 15-20 women is the top of the ceiling. I’d want my partner to have been in some serious relationships before me—not cycling through women constantly.” – Sierra D.
“I prefer not to hear about every single person the guy I’m with has slept with. Maybe the important ones, but where I think it starts to go overboard is 25+.” – Carly G.