“Sometimes my girlfriend just isn’t ‘into it.’ Is there a way to get her in the mood?” — TED B., COLUMBUS, GA

Part of why women can have trouble getting turned on sometimes is because they struggle with tuning in at that moment. The corpus callosum—the fibers that join the brain’s hemispheres—seem to be a little stronger in women, which may make them great multitaskers but could also make it harder for them to focus on sex because they’re thinking of 10,000 other things at the same time.

What to do? Some women may want you to talk dirty, but women as a group rank intimacy and connection with a partner No. 1 for sexual satisfaction, so show her you understand her and are tuned in and the odds are she’ll come around.

Jennifer Valli, L.C.S.W., is a Memphis-based sex therapist.

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