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As much as sex can melt away stress, there’s no denying the fact that stripping down and rolling around with someone can make you a little anxious. It doesn’t matter if it’s the first or 101st time. There are strange sounds, awkward moments, and bodily functions you just can’t control. It’s not just you—women have just as many fears and anxieties running through their heads. Here, 20 incredibly honest women tell all.
“I sometimes have after-sex anxiety. Do we just lie there? Should I be exiting the building upon completion? Does lingering make me seem like a stage-five clinger?” – Molly G.
“I have a fear of not being as good as the last girl he was with.” – Leslie P.
“I’m going to take too long to finish.” – Erica I.
“Him not coming—or him coming inside me.” – Cara D.
“I always have anxiety over where a guy’s going to finish if we’re not using a condom.” – Felicia D.
“Him going down on me and analyzing my V.” – Stephanie Q.
“I’m terrified of breaking a guy’s penis if I’m on top or he slips out.” – Paige F.
“I’ll be completely honest. I’m always anxious about not smelling my freshest down there.” – Marie T.
“Any unwanted bodily function in the middle of sex is just mortifying.” – Tara E.
“If I’m with a new guy, there’s always an underlying fear, or more of an anxiety, that he’s been with a lot of women and could give me an STI.” – Elizabeth F.
“I think every girl gets a little insecure about their body from time to time, especially if it’s with someone new.” Vanessa L.
“Smelling not-so-great down there.” – Kelsey W.
“If a guy rushes foreplay, I’m always a little anxious I won’t be properly warmed up and ready to go for the big event (aka we need lube).” – Quinn D.
“Having awful sexual chemistry with a new partner. If we can’t find a rhythm or position that jives for both of us it’s just so awkward.” – Gabi E.
“Ever since an ex’s mother walked in on an old boyfriend and I going at it during a holiday vacation, I always have a fear of someone catching me in the act.” – Wendy S.
“I’m always anxious taking my clothes off in front of a new partner for the first time. I once had a guy who had never seen a stretch mark on a woman’s thighs before…” – Rebecca D.
“My biggest fear is having someone, like his roommate, hear me in the height of my, um, passion. How uncomfortable.” – Erica L.
“I’m worried the conversation about how many partners I’ve had will come up. I haven’t been with too many men, which some guys like but other guys might not. Conversely, I’m afraid to hear he’s been with like 50 other women.” – Laura S.
“There are certain things I fantasize about and would love to try during sex but am too self-conscious to bring up in-person.” – Tara E.
“He’s going to go in the back door without asking.” – Melissa F.