Not to point out all your flaws, but there are some things you say and do that turn women completely off. You can have a colossal chest, a formidable pair of forearms, and a killer six-pack, but none of that matters if you’re rude to a waitor at dinner, give a crappy handshake (c’mon, work on your grip strength, man!), or can’t engage in meaningful conversation.

There’s a fine line and navigating it is tricky (it’s practically riddled with bear traps). She wants you to be mature enough to commit to her but not be too clingy, make the plans for dates but not be too indecisive about it. We asked 25 women for the scenarios that piss them off the most. Don’t sweat it; it’s all for your benefit. 

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“A guy is a wimp if he’s willing to message you on Tinder and text you, but then doesn’t talk to you when you’re in person.” – Ali C.

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“When he doesn’t make the first move.” – Ali C. 

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“If we’re on a first date and he asks me to split the bill.” – Valerie M.

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“Not having any goals or aspirations is unmanly.” – Brett M.

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“Being too clingy. I like when a guy depends on me and I feel like an integral part of his life, but acting too desperate is not attractive.” – Alexa P. 

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“Not sticking up for your girlfriend or wife.” – Melissa F.

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“Acting like a helpless baby when you’re sick.” – Courtney C. 

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“The inability to stick to a decision,” Lindsey G.

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“Being rude to wait staff or people who are there to assist you.” – Deanna M.

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“A liar is a wimp. A man who needs attention from other women because he’s insecure is a wimp. A man who doesn’t know how to fix small home projects that require tools is a wimp.” – Claire J.

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“When he doesn’t take the initiative to do anything—relationship or work-wise,” Rachael F. 

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“If he can’t lift things or help you move,” Michelle B. 

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“If he doesn’t drink bourbon.” – Grace B. 

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“Whenever they complain about something so minimal, act like they’re PMSing, or can’t handle a challenge.” – Alex W. 

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“I hate when you tell a guy you’re not interested and he cops an attitude about it. I get that it hurts the ego, but come on, it’s better to accept it graciously. You end up looking way more needy and desperate if you’re a jerk about the whole thing.” – Melissa M. 

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“When a guy can’t stay faithful to a woman, it shows his insecurity, lack of respect, and inability to grow up and be a man.” – Cheryl S. 

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“When a guy is overly passive aggressive, because he’s too afraid to be direct.” – Kylie S. 

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“When he’s too self-conscious—or closed off—to say ‘I love you.'”

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“When they don’t work out at all.” – Lindsay J.

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“A wimpy handshake. Work on your grip strength, dude.” – Taylor F. 

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“If they’re hesitant to start a conversation—whether it’s with me, a hostess at a restaurant, or with my family or friends.” – Mary Kate F.

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“If they’re too type B about making plans. I like when a guy can occasionally take charge and say, ‘Ok, this is what we’re going to do’ instead of going back and forth 50 times about where to go, when to meet up, etc.” – Kayla H.

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“If they’re not handy around the house. I live in an apartment on my own in New York City and I can do things like unclog my drain or hang a curtain rod, but they would call their Super. I’m like, ‘come on.'” – Ashley M. 

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“Ghosting. If a guy can’t just own it and be like ‘Hey, I’m not interested.’” – Kiera A.

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