Tall, dark, and handsome may be good and fine for Hollywood and Disney, but what do real women find most attractive in a man? Deeper than surface level; What core values, quirks, personality traits, and, ok, physical traits, drive women wild? Of course everyone’s different, but we asked 20 ladies for their biggest turn ons, and collectively their answers paint a pretty vast and detailed picture. Take a look. 

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“Someone who knows who he is. How a guy carries himself is a big turn on/off. He needs to be fully comfortable in his skin.” – Christina W. 

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“A guy who’s independent who doesn’t need me to hold his hand in a social setting—who can be personable.” – Heather A. 

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“If we’re talking physical traits, then I like a little bit of facial hair (a little—NOT Duck Dynasty style facial hair). If we’re talking personality, I’m a fan of guys who appreciate my independence.” -Eliza J. 

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“What I find utterly attractive is a man who knows when to be a man and when to be a child. You can’t have too much of one; there should be a balance. When I say man, I mean a mature, romantic, serious guy who says really substantial and profound things. When I say child, I mean a guy who’s silly, funny, and able to enjoy nostalgic things like comic books and cartoons. If a man is too mature, how do you have fun? If he is too childish, how do you take him seriously? ” – Lucia R.

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“I feel like a guy has to be goal-oriented. He has dreams and is determined to fulfill them, is a hard worker, but at the same time he doesn’t let work define him.” – Ariana I.

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“A guy who’s self-sufficient, or at least moderately successful (able to hold a job and pay rent/survive.)” – Marie S. 

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“Dressing well and being funny are two of the most attractive traits that a man can have. If you have good fashion sense and can make her laugh, you’re guaranteed to get laid.” – Victoria C.

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“A good trait would be a sense of humor. Life is tough. Sometimes you need someone who can make you forget those problems and easily put a smile on your face.” – Alyssa D. 

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“A man who is confident in himself is a must. Also one who is a gentleman and knows how to act around a lady (i.e. has table manners, walks closest to the curb, walks you to your door). In sum, a man who makes sure that you’re as comfortable around him as possible.” – Abby G.

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“Passion/Drive: When a man talks to you about something he’s really into or working towards, it’s insanely sexy. So often people are sleepwalking through their own lives—to have something that is fueling them is an aphrodisiac.” – Noelle A.

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“If a guy doesn’t have a great sense of humor then it’s hard for me to find them attractive. I need someone who will remind me to let loose and have a good time. When I’m married and old, after his six pack is covered and his hair is falling out, he (whoever his is) will still be able to make me laugh!” – Sam M.

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“Intelligence. Or maybe it’s more wit? If someone can volley with me and they’re smart/funny, I’m in.” – Anne K. 

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“This is so cliche, but having a great smile. And the fact that he smiles period because that means he’s fun and jokes around, and doesn’t take everything too seriously. (I’ve actually been on a date where the guy never smiled. C’mon!) And if his smile is a little off-kilter, like he smiles from one side of his mouth, that puts me over the edge! Especially when I can tell that he’s smiling just for me.” – Annie C.

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“Traditional, chivalrous men who hold the door open and pay for dates and take the time to “woo” you are attractive.” – Lily L.

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“Wholesomeness. A guy who values family and honesty—who prioritizes what’s important.” – Cheryl S.   

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“The most attractive trait by far is loyalty. Second would have to be physique.” – Michelle S.

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“The right level of confidence makes a man attractive. He should hold a positive attitude and have a good sense of humor.” – Gabriella D.

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“Someone who is determined to be successful. Someone who takes initiative.” – Shannon T.

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“A man who is intelligent, fit, and humble.” – Claire P.

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“Honesty. It is difficult to find a man you can truly trust. Words are just words, and I’ve found that guys will say anything to get what they want. Somehow they never feel guilty about lying to a girl.” – Athena L. 

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