I thought my girlfriend and I were official, but I just found out she’s still on Tinder. What gives?—Terrance D., Parma, OH 

Girls naturally have the worst opinion of guys. It’s not (necessarily) your fault, it’s just how our culture has trained us to think. If you haven’t had the “are we official” talk, she may assume you’re still playing the field. So why shouldn’t she?

The other option is that she’s not ready to commit to you because she’s not sure about the relationship, or she’s just enjoying being single.

In any of these scenarios, having a conversation is absolutely crucial. If you’re really into each other, lock it up! Having the “are we or aren’t we?” talk may scare away a girl who’s not that into you or isn’t quite ready to settle down, but it’s not going to scare away a girl who really likes you.

And if you’re really into her but she’s not feeling it, it’s better to know now. If that’s the case, you’ve just dodged a bullet.

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