Q: About two months ago I cheated on my girlfriend. It wasn’t anything serious, just a one-night stand, but I have been feeling so guilty I want to tell her about it. Is this a bad idea?

A: Not if you actually enjoy shattering a woman’s heart. Seriously, unless there is a real reason to do this—such as an STD or a stalker a la Fatal Attraction—keep your mouth shut. I do believe in honesty, but if you truly care about her, you will spare her the details of your temporary moral lapse. Disclosure would be a selfish act.

It may relieve you of your guilt, but at the expense of her emotional security. She will be devastated, and the next few years of your relationship will be about you trying to convince her that you won’t cheat again. Instead, talk to a close friend or a shrink. They will be much better equipped to help you work through it. And the next time you decide to take a walk on the wild side, visit the zoo.


About the Expert:
Sil Lai Abrams is a relationship expert and author of No More Drama: Nine Simple Steps to Transforming a Breakdown Into a Breakthrough.


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