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You’re basically a sex god, and your girlfriend agrees…right? Some women are pretty damn good at faking it, and (worse?) some men are terrible at telling the difference. Sure, there are some physiological signs that she adores everything you’re doing—her breathing changes, her body heats up, her muscles tense—but they’re usually subtle enough that you won’t be able to clearly identify them in the heat of the moment. So here are some non-physical signs that she thinks you’re just as amazing in bed as you think you are.
If she’s single-mindedly gunning for her own orgasm—your orgasm be damned—you’re doing it right. “As she gets close to orgasm, she enters a trance-like state,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. “She’s no longer focused on you or what you want.” In other words, you’re so incredible between the sheets that she can no longer concentrate on anything but herself. Conversely, if she’s eager to please and really into getting you off, she may not be that into you, Kerner says.
You may have noticed that a lot of women aren’t ready to jump right into things—they like a little warm-up, first. But once she is aroused, you can figure out just how into you she is by pushing her boundaries (consensually, of course). This could be something as simple as diving into oral sex, Kerner says. Or, try using sex toys. You’re looking for lowered inhibitions—many things that are normally painful, ticklish, or otherwise uncomfortable when she’s not aroused will become sexy when she is aroused.
Face it: There are a lot of things about sex that are kind of disgusting when you think about them in a non-sexual context. Body fluids, odors, and functions, for example. But if your lady is not only not bothered by messy, sweaty, disgusting sex—but actually kind of into it, then give yourself a high-five . The reason: Lowered inhibitions also means a lowered disgust mechanism, according to Kerner. You’re so good in bed that she just doesn’t care. But if she’s preoccupied with keeping the sheets clean, you may want to rethink your sex strategy.
What happens when the deed is over? Does she jump out of bed to get a head start on that project she’s heading up at work, or does she stick around and try to snuggle up to you? Hopefully it’s the latter, says sex therapist Jane Greer, author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness from Ruining Your Relationship. “After you have great sex, there’s a desire to maintain a connection with your partner,” Greer says. If she jumps up off the bed after a quickie, don’t sweat it—she’s a busy girl, after all. But if she never lingers, not even after lazy Sunday morning sex, you may have a problem.
When she brings up your sex life—and how it can be improved—outside of the bedroom, your first instinct is probably to feel offended. But you shouldn’t, because good sex is more about the connection and comfort level you have with your partner than it is about pure technique, Greer says. “It’s hard for anyone to tell their partner that they want to do something different in bed,” Greer explains. “So it’s actually a good sign if she comes to you—it means she feels comfortable enough with you to open up.” Think about it like this: She wouldn’t bother potentially offending you if she didn’t already think you were worth it.