First and foremost: The only question you need answered by the end of a first date is, “Do I want to see her again?” Everything else comes with time.

Not sure how to get there?


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  1. Keep first dates short—90 minutes max. At the end, just say you have an early day tomorrow, but that you had a great time and would love to see her again, so there are no hurt feelings.
  2. On the date, make sure you can sit next to each other so you can feel each other’s proximity and physically interact.
  3. Don’t try to figure out if she’s “long term” material by asking deep, searching questions. Avoid things like old relationships, politics (especially now!), and money, and stick to lighter topics—work, outside interests—so you get an idea of her personality.
  4. Take it slow with making moves, especially kissing. if you “go for it” and it fails, that doesn’t mean she’s not interested, so don’t take it personally.
  5. Finally, ask her to text you when she gets home. It’ll show you care—and also get you past that “who texts who first” thing, so your postdate communication will be seamless.

If she turns down the second date, these 10 reasons might be to blame.

Thomas Edwards is founder of The Professional Wingman and an expert on all things dating, relationships, lust, and love.

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