What it says: She either is a nail biter, plays the guitar, or works construction. Regardless, this is a girl who has no problem hoisting up the other side of the couch to move it or using her fingers to clear a clogged drain. The downside: She’ll undoubtedly steal your beer. Worse, she may also be the type who only shaves below the knee, or not at all.

Short and manicured
What it says: She takes good care of herself, but she’s neither compulsive nor obsessive about it. Usually a clear nail-polish kind of gal, sometimes she’ll get crazy and do a dark red. And once in a while, when she’s feeling more formal, she’ll spring for a French manicure with the white tip. That’s your clue that this typically missionary-style girl is ready for a ride on top.

Super Long
What it says: Drama. For this girl, her nail length is directly proportional to the amount of maintenance she’s going to need to keep her happy. Obviously, physically active dates are out. Long-nailed women lean toward the superficial aspects of life, so expect lots of shopping and fine dining, plus (here’s the redeemer) plenty of hot sex. Just be sure to watch your back in the sack, ’cause this tiger is bound to leave some claw marks.

What it says: Even if she’s gorgeous and has a great personality, she’s also relatively shallow and wants to be something she’s not. Brace yourself for plenty of jealousy, emotional fits, and angry outbursts whenever things don’t go her way. Be careful, too, since fake nails can mean fake boobs, fake lashes, and who knows what else. (How to check to see if your girl’s nails are bogus or the real deal: Artificial ones look like plastic and are thicker than natural nails.)

Black nails
What it says: She’s rebellious and a wild child. You might have a Goth girl or a depressed nut job on your hands, but either way, she’s most likely a lot of fun to play with. Unless, of course, black is the color of the moment in the fashion world, in which case you may inadvertently be hooking up with a closet drama queen.