Whether you’re just picking up another hottie in a bar or trying to quickly scope out the new girl in the office, there’s one easy way to figure out what makes every girl tick. Just ask her what kind of pet she has.


WHAT IT MEANS: She’s likely a pop-culture junkie. Smaller-than-small dogs are a must-have celeb accessory, so if the girl you’re interested in has one, she’ll probably know the exact state of Jessica Simpson’s love life at any given moment. And if she dresses the critter up in diamonds and denim or in anything that has the word princess on it, you have a high-maintenance chick who expects to be pampered herself.


WHAT IT MEANS: One of two things–either she’s extremely shy and needs a hero, or she’s up to the challenge of owning a beast. If she’s the former, drawing her out of her shell will be part of the challenge. The latter will be a challenge in and of itself. Either way, have fun and play rough.

The Pet | A CAT

WHAT IT MEANS: She’s a laid-back kind of girl who doesn’t want to invest a huge amount of time in another creature, but she still wants something to snuggle with. Plan on a lady who won’t obsess about when you’ll talk next but will want to cuddle when you’re around.


WHAT IT MEANS: Run. Run very far away.

The Pet | A SNAKE

WHAT IT MEANS.” Vixen all the way. She tikes a lot of danger in her life — and in the bedroom. If she’s like her slithery friend, expect sex to be very much a contact sport: lots of fun, but be warned — you may come off the playing field with a few cuts and bruises.

The Pet | A PARROT

WHAT IT MEANS: She’s an eccentric oddball — the funny one in the bunch. And she enjoys being different. For further insight, try to find out what — if anything — she’s taught the bird to say. Filthy limericks? You’re golden. But watch out for Oprah-friendly digs at men like “The good ones are already taken” which can be a sign of major drama ahead.