While some women would rather skip the previews and get to the big attraction, most feel foreplay is a lost art. (That’s actually what one of the women we spoke to said verbatim.)

It should not be a 5-minute game of let’s-see-how-fast-I-can-get-you-naked, grab a body part here, give a kiss there, then wham, bam, thank you ma’am we’ve just had sex. But if that’s what your latest sexual encounters have seemed like, give these women’s confessions a read. Then, check out 10 Moves She’s Begging You to Make During Foreplay where 10 other women have disclosed, in great detail, what they wish you would do.

There’s a time and place for quickies, but if you want to blow her mind—we mean seriously give her an orgasm she won’t soon forget—then let these 20 women enlighten you.

“For me, foreplay is like a warmup. Odds are so much greater I’ll have an orgasm if there’s making out, teasing, touching… you get the idea.” – Arianna L.

“Underrated. I think it’s important for different reasons. With a boyfriend, you need to do it to spice things up because you don’t want to get in a routine—and it’s usually better because he knows what you like. But with other people, like a fling, it’s nice because you learn new moves. But I definitely relax more with a boyfriend.” – Maria S.

“Underrated!! It’s like doing sprints without a warmup. Yeah, you still get it done, but you’re not going to perform as well or feel as good without prepping your muscles first. Plus, someone could actually get hurt. (Quickies are an exception).” – Laura M.

“It depends on my mood. But, I would say underrated because it adds to the sexual tension leading up to the goal.” – Melissa C.

“Underrated. You have to warm up the car before you drive it.” – Sasha D.

“Underrated—unless he’s bad at it, but thinks he’s good, so he spends like 30 minutes messing around down there.” – Grace N.

“There’s nothing that turns me on like foreplay. Tease me and get me so hot and bothered I can’t wait one minute longer for sex.” – Kristen E.

“Underrated! I think foreplay is sexy and makes the lead up to the actual act more exciting.” – Alex P.

“I love foreplay. I’m obviously more comfortable with a boyfriend but sometimes I can let loose more if I know I’ll never see the person again.” – Molly D.

“Eh, overrated. Most guys don’t exactly know how to get a girl off with their hands and I’m not super comfortable with a guy going down on me. Knowing his face is right there makes me want to shut my legs, not open them.” – Erin S.

“Underrated. I need foreplay. It actually annoys me when a guy just jumps into sex.” – Lindsay E.

“I believe in a healthy amount of foreplay, so I’d say it’s underrated. Otherwise you’re probably just diving in there.” – Brigid M.

“Underrated for sure. You’ve got to make a girl feel wanted, plus going in there unprepared isn’t pleasant for anyone involved.” – Tara D.

“Both. I think it’s underrated, but then it can get a guy in some trouble if there’s ‘too much build up’ and he blows his load too quick.” – Olivia S.

“Underrated. I want to feel wanted, cherished, and like he can’t keep his hands off me—not that he just wants to jump straight to the task at hand.” – Amanda F.

“Underrated, because that’s when you really know how good he is.” – Carissa M.

“Foreplay is SO important. Listen guys, take your time undressing a girl. We’re probably trussed up in expensive lingerie or underwear. Don’t underestimate how hot making out can be. Run your hands through our hair. Pay attention to the ‘girls.’ Talk to us—think dirty and descriptive, not borderline porno. Don’t rush ‘down there’ either; if you spend time fingering or going down on a woman, you pretty much exponentially raise the odds she’ll climax during sex. If that’s not motivation to take foreplay more seriously I don’t know what is.” – Megan D.

“Overrated. I can do without a guy poking around in my lady bits. Sorry, guys, but I’m more efficient in that domain.” – Leslie M.

“Foreplay is a lost art. When did we stop going through all the bases?! I don’t want to just jump straight into sex.” – Tiffany Y.

“Underrated. It builds intimacy in the relationship and that’s when you find out what your partner really likes.” – Erica D.