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I love my girlfriend, but for me to reach orgasm I need to think of other women while we’re having sex. What does this say about me? —Chris O., Fort Wayne, IN
This is way too complicated a topic to address in full detail, so let me ask you a single question: How much porn are you watching? Believe it or not, we can train our responses to certain stimuli, just like we train dogs. I know a guy who did an experiment in which he jerked off only to porn with obese women. After a while, when he’d see obese women on the street, he’d start to feel aroused.
If you’re watching a lot of porn showing scenarios where the men and women don’t know each other or aren’t in a relationship, you may be conditioning yourself to get off to casual encounters only. So watch porn involving loving couples and see what that does for you. Good luck.