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Even if you think you’re an ace between the sheets, you can always learn a new trick, perfect a technique, or become more attuned to the likes and dislikes of who you’re sleeping with. We’re constantly speaking with top experts, therapists, and psychologists to present you with the most actionable advice. But, sometimes we like to leave things in the hands of real women.
When we polled women on their thoughts about foreplay and their least favorite sex positions, the same comments kept rising to the surface. When women gave their input, they’d say ‘This is so important. Why don’t guys know this?’
Well, probably because you’d rather not have the awkward conversation outlining all the things you like, dislike, and desperately want to happen in bed. So, here’s what a fragment of the female population wishes you knew about getting them off. But, we’d venture to guess there are some pretty universal themes here. Now, before you go put them into practice, go have that “awkward” conversation; use these 5 tips. (Trust us; the lead up is more agonizing then the talk itself. And it’ll lead to the best sex of your life.)
“The key to the female orgasm is building anticipation. Tease us. Get us hot and bothered. Don’t skimp on foreplay. As a guy, if you can go for round two after about 20 minutes, great. Have her perform oral or get you off first. Then, while you’r recovering, wind her up so when you’re ready to have sex, she’ll be practically bursting at the seams.” -Molly D.
“All I have to say is there’s a thing called the clitoris…” – Erin D.
“If you don’t know what you’re doing, staying down there for half an hour is pointless.” – Nicole S.
“I wish guys knew not to assume that the sex they see in porn is the ‘norm.’ There can definitely be a mood for intense sex, but if it’s not the right time, it can hurt and be a turn off.” – Brie L.
“Be confident, hit the spot, and act like it’s as good as ice cream.” – Corie K.
“Slow the f$%& down.” – Alex Q.
“Step 1: Nicely and genuinely ask a girl what she likes. Step 2: Accept her answer and make it clear that you’re truly interested in getting her off no matter what it takes. Step 3: Don’t complain about it, don’t act like she owes you anything, and don’t act like a little kid being told to do his homework. The more it seems like you enjoy it, the more she will—guaranteed.” – Lizzie D.
“I wish guys knew that it takes us almost twice the amount of time to get off—so half-assing it when they’re done doesn’t cut it.” – Julia C.
“I can’t help but feel degraded when a guy goes straight to sex. If there’s barely any kissing or touching, it feels so impersonal.” -Jennifer R.
“Don’t skip any steps. Kissing is just as important as the main event.” – Christine W.
“I wish guys understood that drunk one-night hookups are never going to be as good as something consistent, especially for the girl because guys can get off literally anytime—but women need a little more effort and skill put in.” – Brigid M.
“If they stopped going so fast, I might actually go and not fake it.” – Miranda F.
“A little can go a long way. Don’t overdo it (i.e. drilling into a woman or getting carried away with the dirty talk).” – Melissa Q.
“Spontaneous acts of play are always a yes. Jump in the shower with me. Turn game night into a very different kind of game night. Go back to basics and make out with me on the couch. I don’t just want straight sex before bed on the weekend.” – Tara M.
“I like being pushed out of my comfort zone and urged to try something new, but if I’m deadset on not wanting to try something, please let it go. Nothing will turn me off faster than you whining about wanting to do anal… seriously, nothing. Most women would probably be open to easing into things, but most guys don’t know how to approach it intelligently. Plus, without easing in that can be seriously painful and nowhere near enjoyable.” – Maria D.
“Let me clue you in on something: Women masturbate, too. We know our bodies better than you do and can probably bring on an orgasm in the fraction of the time it takes you to. So, don’t let your ego get in the way. If we tell you to touch us a certain way or give you guidance, take it in stride.” – Candice F.
“I’ve never had a guy ask to role play or act out some scenarios, but that would be a serious turn-on. Women’s fantasies probably aren’t the nurse-and-school-teacher acts you’ve seen played out in a porno; but they could lead to far more adventurous sex that travels beyond the bedroom.” – Victoria N.
“There’s a line in Trainwreck where Amy Schumer tells a random hookup everything important is up top. Well, it’s SO true. I’m only speaking for some women, but if I’m going to come, it’s going to be because you’re stimulating my clitoris. Sure, deep penetration feels great. But what will really put us over the edge is the friction of your body on ours.” – Melanie R.
“Most men I’ve been with love doggie style. I get it, you can get super deep. You get a great view. But if you’re on the large side, this isn’t exactly the most pleasurable position. It can actually hurt. Go easy. Slow it down. Don’t pound away.” – Gabrielle S.
“You don’t know until you try. She might love to get spanked or tied up. I wish guys would be a little more adventurous. My goal (after thinking about this question) is to be more vocal in bed. Might as well live life having body-rocking toe-curling sex, right?” – Erica S.